Going Golfing

.....VW, that is.....
Yeah, so my POS Grand Prix finally broke with exactly the same problem it had last time ($700), although this time for good.
So Curt helped me out and drove me around looking for cars while Diana very graciously let me borrow her car to get to work (thank you baby), and last Thursday I skipped Biology -- partly becuz it sucks -- and partly to by my new 1991 Volkswagen Golf.
It was only a $Grand, and it doesnt really need any work, except that I'll be perpetually in a state of 165,250 miles until I can drive up to Loretto and get the odometer fixed next week.
Butt -- that was originally a typo but I've decided to leave it.... anyway....
But, the funnest part about it is that it's stick-shift, which I was not able to drive until, well, after I bought the car. Curt and I had quite the experience with me driving it home. And later that night, I drove it to Diana's completely solo... and let me just make a little comment on that:
YOU DON'T NEED TO BE AN ASSHOLE if there's a stickshift car stalled in front of you in a turning lane. Even if the poor kid DOES have to re-start it 8 times.
Give me a break.
If I had a dollar for everytime someone honked or flipped me off or did something else mean each time I stalled that car the first day I had it, I'd be a mil..... uh, I'd have like 17 bucks, but hey, you have no idea how handy that would be right now.
I wonder if I'm just using the word "handy" cuz I'm in Indiana and southern slang is starting to rub off on me... Hmmm.... (perplexed)
Anyway, as I was saying, money....
I had to put the car repairs from my Grand Prix ($695) on my credit card because I don't have that much money right now.
And THEN, I had to put the whole $1000 on my card too, so now I have exactly $6 left on my credit limit.
WOW.
I haven't picked out a name yet. Any suggestions?

t-shirts at the fair

ok so I was at the Minnesota state fair, which by the way, kicks wisconsin's ass....

and i was walking to the KFAN booth to sell some t-shirts for the station. it was my last day in promotions, next week i'll be on with the talk shows!

anyway....

i was on my way to kfan's booth and i saw these two teenage guys with presumably their mother. they both has the same hideous blue and yellow striped collared shirts on.

i was instantly glad to have a different mother. those poor guys, forced to wear the same shirts and follow mom around at the fair... ouch.

....that reminds me of a time my mom made "family t-shirts" with each child's name on the front and "McCoy" and a number on the back like a jersey. they were for a family reunion.

i love my mom, but i had to wear my weezer T instead. no way was i going to wear that! at least my mom was a little more easy-going than those poor kids...

another observation....

ok so we just sold this short 40 year old blond guy with glasses a RUBE t-shirt (that's the nickname for all the FAN listeners). and i sat there in that booth and watched the guy immediately change into that red rube shirt right in front of the booth.

but it wasn't what you think. this guy had skills.... no napoleon, REAL skills....

the guy took his shirt and stepped back, turned halfway around, and put the new rube shirt on over his other t-shirt.

then i sat there, amazed, as i watched this man take off his other t-shirt from underneath. first the head, then the arms, and pulled it out through the neck, all while keeping the rube shirt on perfectly.

damn impressive.

as Drew Geraets would say.... historic moments in mankind

So last night one of my buddies from the Visit Office was short a few guys for his intramural softball team.... a playoff game..... what a time to be short!

Anyway, so I played.

lalala.... play-by-play.... fast forward to the top of the last inning......

Runners on first and second, two outs, down 10-9..... clutch time..... with good ol' Davey comin' up to bat...

If I get out, my buddy's game is over, playoffs over, season's over..... No pressure....

So I got up there and the little guy who beat out just a couple of infield singles earlier slugs one to deep left.... a two run triple to take the lead!

...For good. It was a nice win.

It kind of made up for the 28-0 spanking we received in the next game......

Speaking of clutch plays.....

So I was at this bar and grill tonight doing a promotion for the FAN, and what we were doing was dealing blackjack to the people in this fine establishment. If they beat me - the dealer - they won a prize (KFAN t-shirt, Becks beer t-shirt, can coolers, etc.) There was also karaoke going on.....

We also had a sign up box for people to win a poker table from which we drew a winner at the end of the night.

Anyway.... so the clutch play I was speaking of.....

The bartender - a young guy in his early 20s - well, he won the table but he didn't feel right taking his prize since he worked there.

So there was this table of like 8 guys in their late-20s-early-30s and they were a pretty fun group...... and so the bartender went over to their table to offer the table to one of them - for a price.

The guys picked this one guy in their group to go up on stage and sing that "If you wanna be my lover" Spice Girls song. If he did it, the bartender would give him the table.

Let me just say, watching a 30-something year old tough guy with a goatie stumble through that song has been one of the highlights of my summer.

Now that's comin' through in the clutch.

i can't wait to give you beer

it was monday afternoon.....

i'm on a Metro Transit bus, talking to this girl i know named Ashley. She's a CA in Middlebrook.

the minute that Ashley gets off the bus, this guy behind me leans forward and he says,

"hey man, want some beer?"

this guy was brown-baggin' it! a bottle of beer on the bus!

i say,

"no thanks man."

and he says,

"It's good for you! And ice cold!"

i reply,

"nooo.... i'm going to work man."

summerfest observations.... belated

it is not my job to hold your drunk ass up on the bleachers so you can hear howie day.

it takes balance to stand on top of bleacher seats to see the stage.

if you are trashed, you have no balance.

figure this dilemma out on your own, but if you fall back onto me or diana one more time, your ass is going forward..... all the way forward.... forward, as in, on the ground, where your drunk ass stands a prayer of holding itself up.

also..... who the hell gave you the idea you can "save seats" for a f-ing bleacher seat concert at summerfest?? how ridiculous is that? ok... maybe like 1 seat for your friend ...or special friend. but you can't expect to save like 6 seats in the fifth row when the show is starting in 12 minutes!!! dammit!

and another thing..... if you save the seats and your friends don't show, then get your ass out of the way. this woman was standing on the ground -- not the bleachers -- literally taking up four spaces. granted..... the woman took up two just by herself.... but please! dammit woman, you only need two spaces. if it's 45 minutes into the show and your friends haven't come yet, make some room so i am not sore as hell the next day from being very uncomfortable during the whole f'in show.

which i was.....

and if one more of you fucking perverts grabs diana's ass while I'm getting a free CD I'm going to punch everyone in the face just to make sure i got the right fucking guy. dammit that makes me so fucking pissed. have you no fucking respect?

go home and jerk off.... that's a better place for your hand than my girlfriend you piece of shit.


sorry for the anger in this blog. but summerfest, i was not impressed with the people you invited this year...

f*ck the po-lice

So i was on the campus bus tonight and at one of the stops a female security guard gets on.

The campus security people hire students. She was a student.

Pretty brunette.... probably 22.... in uniform.

So then, this guy on the bus, he must have been an older student because he looked in his mid-20's, he moves up to the seat across from her as we drive past the commuter parking lots and he says, "So, you're a cop. Is it safe to park here at night and walk?"

And this guy is obviously, blatantly hitting on this girl, who is not a cop, is a security guard. I laugh because the pick-up line is sooo cheesy. And because the guy obviously already parks his car there and knows it's safe.

In a totally professional tone, she says, "yeah, we've never had any problems. And if you do feel unsafe, we'll come and walk you where you need to go."

OK- a little background info for non-UofM students: Campus Safety has this "624-WALK" program, where if you feel unsafe, you can call 624-WALK and campus security will walk you to where you need to go... up to a mile off campus.

So that's what she meant. Anyway, back to the story.

So then this guy, voice quavering, trying to fake innocence, says, "Really? I mean, that's like every other day. Are you sure we can do that?"

Still acting totally professional and either not getting the guy's hint or getting it and not playing his game, the girl says, "Mmhmm."

Then the dope gets off the bus.

So for all you big guys out there who need a female security guard to walk you to your car every other day, or are just trying to bone her, let this be a lesson to you.

it's a mad, mad AND SMALL world...

so.... today.... a couple people showed me that the world is indeed about as big as an ant farm.

i just moved into this house in st. paul. one of my roommates is this guy named Dave.

Dave had been a part of my life once before..... i just didn't know it.

During the 2003-04 school year, my girlfriend Diana was at school and i wasn't.... (she's a year older than me.)

So..... during that year, two of Diana's friends -- Amber and Cari -- came to visit Diana.

This is where Dave comes in. Cari spent most of the weekend with her friend Dave.

Well.... it just so happens that one fine evening, Amber and Diana became somewhat concerned about the whereabouts of their good pal Cari.... since they hadn't talked to her in like a long time.
So, they came up with this brilliant plan to walk all over Minneapolis..... looking for Cari.

Yes.... Minneapolis.... walking.... at like 12:30 at night.

And i was at work and i was all, ummm... Minneapolis is pretty big and you don't even know where Dave lives... and ummm..... it's late at night...... and you are a couple of young girls in a big city..... and ummmm maybe that wouldn't be so wise.

So they didn't..... smart.... who knows what could have happened.

So..... they drove.

Yes.... they drove......

Well, wrong city ladies, cuz Dave happens to live in St. Paul.... And now so do I.... with Dave.

It's a mad mad mad mad.... and small.... world.

Speaking of madness.....

I will not be buying another Pontiac again.

So it goes back to winter break.... I'm driving back to school and my car broke down.... in Shawano.... which is only like an hour short of halfway.....

$700.... that's enough details....

So, this past weekend I decided I needed my car up here to do an internship at KFAN.

And well, I drove it only about 4 or 5 times since it was fixed in December.

It will be a couple days til I drive it again.

I went to put gas in my car.... obviously, you shut off the engine to do that.

But when I very kindly -- very kindly -- asked it to shut back on, it refused.

AAA towed it.

Maybe it's the alternator.

So I walked like 45 minutes to the bus stop. Then I took a 20 minute bus ride home. I missed work because of this....

So like I was saying.... it's a mad mad mad mad world. But that made me mad.